The following questions and answers are excerpted from a conversation that followed the NBR screening of Babygirl.

A lot of people have talked about the content of this film being edgy and subversive, but it’s actually a pretty sweet story about self-acceptance. Can you talk diving into that idea?
Halina Reijn: For me, that’s core of the film. There was a question that I wanted to ask myself. Is it possible to love all the different parts of yourself? Not just the ones that we like to present to each other or the outside world, but also the parts that are darker and more shameful and that make you nervous. And so that was the core question that we had with this movie.

everything becomes performative.

And why did you choose this particular story to explore that?
HR: Well, I also wanted to make it light and not too self-serious or pretentious. I started to play with a tone that was maybe a comedy of manners, maybe a little bit of a fairy tale and fable. Then I thought it would be fun to have a woman who was very powerful, and a young man who was trying to find his way as a man, because for me it’s also very much about masculinity and not only femininity. I had the idea that he would be her intern, that he would dominate her sexually, because I thought that was a fun sort of twist and hook. Something that was also in conversation was the sexual thrillers of the 90s. I love those films, but I always felt in the end someone was punished, or killed or died, and I didn’t want that for this story. I love to show that everybody’s human and we’re all ambiguous. We all have a beast in us and an angel.

Romy is such a complex character, and it feels like much of that is held under the surface. Your performance is somehow very controlled and very uninhibited at the same time. How did you connect with the character?
Nicole Kidman: Just the minute I heard it was called Babygirl, I was like, I want to play Babygirl! I knew of Helena’s work. I sort of seek out women to work with and support. There are up-and-coming directors who are either starting or restarting their careers. We were already talking about things because she was writing something else for me.

Then I heard she was writing Babygirl, and she hadn’t mentioned it to me. But then it appeared and as soon as I read it, I was completely absorbed. I called and her and went, Oh my god, please, can I do this with you? My husband happens to have a “babygirl” tattoo on the back of his neck, so that seems to be destiny!

I just understood it and I understood that it was also fun, that it was sexy, that there was so many different things it was circling. We talked about it and bonded over it. I told Halina that I was in her hands, in her world, in her playground, and let’s go. From that point on, we were kind of joined. What’s beautiful is that when you work with a director who’s also the writer, they start to write for you, they rewrite it, they shape it, they change it, and it sort of morphed along the way. Even when we were filming, she would be working at night. She’d come in the next morning and ask, how about this? Or late night at night after we’d finished, I’d call her and ask, What about this, or I’m feeling this. She would absorb it, and then we’d explore that the next day. We had a limited budget, we were trying to shoot so many scenes, and she’s relentless. We had an amazing crew and an amazing cinematographer. If it started raining, we’d shoot in the rain. Whatever it was, we would adapt.

HR: That was also incredible for me! We were sometimes shooting in the streets, and the cinematographer is Jasper Wolf, he’s Dutch. He loves to improvise, and he thinks that he shot this movie in the Amazon [laughs]. He’s very much an adventurer. I’m not at all! But he’s very hands-on. While we were shooting in the street, like you said, it was raining, remember? And then you [Nicole] went into this taxi!

NK: I flagged a cab and got in the cab in the scene. And the guy was looking at me.

HR: Because it was a real cab!

NK: And I had no money on me! I’m like, I need to find my wallet. The production can’t afford it [laughs]. It was just that kind of filmmaking experience. It’s so alive and that I think is what you capture. So that’s probably what you feel and see on the screen. Even seeing that set piece for the song Father Figure… we had the hotel room for the day. That’s it. Halina had written a structure to it, but she was like, I still want you to find things. And it was a constant discovery and exploration, which is really exciting as an actor. At the same time, so many of the scenes were so structured. So many of them had a rhythm of the dialogue and the back and forth of the game they were playing, and who had such a strong grasp of the power. When it starts, how it starts, when the power shifts, it was all extremely thought-out ahead of time. And hopefully it’s funny. I found it very funny! Among other things.

HR: The system that we created with each other, with the actors, was that we wanted to be very prepared. Everyone learned their lines very well. We talked in detail about the blocking and the choreography, so everyone felt confident and safe. And then, you can let it go in the moment and be open to whatever they bring, to really collaborate in the moment. Because of course the tension between Romy and Samuel for me is electrifying. That’s because we were so prepared. Only then, can you totally let go. They have these long scenes—the mentor meetings in this kind of basement office room. These are very long takes with a lot of dialogue. The scene in the hotel room was very long too. We built that in the studio and it was only me, Nicole, Harris, and Jasper the DP in there. We prepared that very well, and then we just did huge takes, like a theater play. I come from the theater, so that’s all I know. I like to look at it as a play. You get so much if you get to do the whole thing. They were excellent—you need very, very talented actors. What we had found with the tone was that “everything is performance.”  This woman has this feeling that she needs to be a good mother, a good wife, a good leader, a good lover. And everything becomes performative. And we kind of wanted to show that almost breaking through the fourth wall when Harris, for instance, says, Get on your knees, and then Romy is like, Oh, sorry. She’s going in and out of it, so it almost shows that Romy is acting. And that I think they did that exceptionally well. That’s where the humor and the humanity comes from for me.

NK: Because a lot of times with sexuality in film, the way in which it’s done, it’s all so perfect. And we wanted to show it’s real. And so that’s why Halina would sometimes say, if you feel like laughing, then laugh. So there’s an awkwardness, because rarely does someone enter into a sexual game and it’s all perfect and you know exactly how to behave. It’s awkward. You’re finding your way and then suddenly before you know it, you’re overcome with what hits you, and then you’re not, and then you are. That messiness of it is hard to capture on film. There are exceptions. I mean, sure, with Cassavetes, when you look at Gena Rowlands and her performances, it was beautiful how he would capture her, but it’s difficult. Having a woman direct you as a woman in this, it’s very safe. I felt like she was there to protect me and take care of me, and I knew I wouldn’t be put in a position where I felt dominated or like I didn’t have any power. Halina made it safe for all of us as actors, because she’s been an actor. She’s been on stage, she’s been in films, she knows the process, and she knows what you start to feel. Some days we’d come in and we’d be like, okay, what next? And she could perform it for you. We wouldn’t necessarily do exactly what she did, but she would share ideas. She would be crawling around on the floor! That’s the beauty of having someone who completely understands the material.

HR: Acting for me always felt it was so vulnerable. It can be embarrassing. Even if you’re doing a comedy scene, everybody’s just standing there with their North Face jackets, like, what is she going to do now? Meanwhile you’re crawling around. I think it would be helpful for me if I was acting and the director was like, okay, get on the floor. It’s not a method everyone should use, but it’s my language, to be the one of the floor first. So the actors feel like we are in this together. Because it can be quite humiliating as a profession. You feel like a clown that has to dance for everyone, and that’s not a nice feeling! If you do it together, it’s easier to go into vulnerable places, and then you can use those nerves, use that shame, use them in the scene and make it a weapon.